Google dictionary defines trigger as “an event or circumstance that is the cause of a particular action, process, or situation”. Danger is defined as “the possibility of suffering harm or injury”.
A trigger is a stimulus that produces an emotional response that is usually painful and feels to be beyond the control of the person who experiences it. Everything can be a trigger. A painful memory that might have been activated when watching a movie at a theater. The darkness and crowd in a movie theater can trigger a need to escape. Thinking about possibly having a panic attack leads to the increased focus on body sensation and might in fact generate a panic attack. By definition triggers are triggering, however, triggers are not dangerous. Yes, the reaction might be painful but the extent of our pain is related to miscalibration of our alarm system and not to an actual risk of harm. Consider an assault victim who prefers to grab their groceries at a convenience store in the middle of the night to avoid being exposed to individuals who might remind them of their attacker. This person puts themselves in more danger to avoid feeling distressed. During the eighties, I lived for a year at a refugee center in France. I remember a bunch of kids run for cover when the maintenance crew started cutting the grass. The remedy was relatively simple. The kids were encouraged to touch the mower, to learn what the machine was for and eventually changed the association between loud engine and danger that exposure to war formed in their heads. This does not mean that none of them ever experienced painful memories but, at least, they could tolerate the annoyance of grass cutting without the unnecessary fear.
Many believe that the absence of triggers means good mental health. Nothing further from the truth. If you’re anxious about your grades, studying becomes a trigger. If you are recovering from a difficult relationship, meeting someone new, however nice this person might be, will be a source of anxiety. A mother worries about a newborn. Shall she give up the child up to reduce her concerns? Someone else cares about a certain political view. Shall they abstain from politics and avoid all news or vote for the position that is important for them? The bottom line is that everything that is important to us is triggering simply because all our dreams and values come with a risk of us not being to achieve them to the extent that we want.
We need to understand the difference between triggers and dangers. Triggers bring painful emotional reactions but do not put us in danger of losing life or limb. We need to know our triggers so that we can start facing them. With time, our reactions will diminish – we might become like the kids who no longer run away from a lawnmower. We need to clarify our values (a set of life guiding principles that important to us) and objectives (what we want to accomplish or experience). It’s not going to be easy because the path is littered with triggers. If you want to be a lawyer, you need to be able to present a coherent argument in front of witnesses and in an environment constructed to challenge the validity of your argument. If you want to become a first respondent, you need to be able to handle crises, make split-second life-and-death decisions and act with efficiency despite being in the middle of mayhem. If you want to have a relationship, you need to be honest with the person you want to have a relationship with and manage your feelings of insecurity even if you do not have a full guarantee that everything will work out. If you experienced severe trauma and crave good night sleep, you need to train your mind to view your memories as triggers, painfully immersive experiences of past events that need to be put in context of your current reality. Life that consists of following our goals and values is different from a life that consists of trying to suppress our triggers.